Lacey and Yulia

losers_4life @ 2009-12-07T19:50:00

2009-12-08T01:48:23Z

web-master and ilovecollege remix and putting our beds together and secret santas and people looking out for each other when they're drunk and suitemate talks and the boys and sitting on schwab's bed talking to tucker until late about how we relate in so many ways and we're hurt in so many ways and learning that he is depressed and eating so much food with dave in ursa's and living so close to the edge of something great i can feel it it's going to happen and loving everyone each in a different way and going to get dinner and staying for hours and translating english onto french to make stories that are more meaningful than they realize and working in the library for 7 hours in a row being so focused because it's that time of year and the late nights staying up into 3 AM three nights in a row because now that we don't have practice we can all do that we can all relax and sitting in whispers with all the important ones instead of all going to a party together but it doesn't matter because we had just as much fun doing work and studying and talking than dancing to 80s music
one team
and one family

"Remember this, because this is your family, and for the rest of your life, you will never forget them. This is a bond that you form in college like no other. No one else has this experience. This is yours to take, this is yours to remember. Remember it all. Don't take it for granted. There is no one in your life that you will spend more time with than these people here. Going to sleep together, waking up at 6 AM together, going to practice together, going on road trips together, winning and losing together, going through emotionally difficult and physically impossible adventures, eating every meal together, going to each other's weddings, staying in touch forever. Enjoy this. Enjoy all the this's."

losers_4life @ 2009-08-24T22:16:00

2009-08-25T03:13:43Z

I need an answer. It's not so clean cut this time.

L

losers_4life @ 2009-04-14T23:56:00

2009-04-15T05:14:42Z

I can't believe freshman year is almost over. College is moving about a million times faster than high school did. High school felt like the perfect pace. Every year was memorable, new experiences, old friends, new people, improvements, accomplishments, setbacks, learning, making mistakes-just perfect. It ended in time. It ended in perfection. If the perfectness of senior year had continued, I feel like it would have been too perfect. It was just the amount of perfect that I needed to be ready for college. Some people say high school went by too quickly. Some say too slowly. I think it went by exactly how it should have. On graduation day, I felt like I had lived it all. To the fullest.

Freshman year did not go this quickly in high school. Perhaps it is because classes aren't every day... perhaps it is because weekends are full of track meets. Perhaps it's because I came a semester late (haha, probably), but time just moves so quickly. It's already Wednesday. How did that happen?! I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that college, although COMPLETELY different, is a continuation of what you did in high school. High school is when you are exploring new things (track and music for me) and new people (boyfriends and best friends) and basically yourself. In college, you already have more of a sense, and as much as you are exploring, people usually continue on to do the things they have learned to love in high school. We search for people like those we made strong bonds with in high school. In this way, college is not as new of an experience as high school. It really isn't. At least not for me. It's completely different, of course, but it's moving so quickly.

50 Highlights of WashU Semester 2, 2009:
1. Meeting so many new people from track and absolutely loving them.
2. Jess, Skyler, Erica, Will, Stephen
3. Pick-up games of football
4. The first 3 parties, especially the 3rd
5. Line dancing with people from #2
6. Late night talks with Stephen and Will
7. Athlete formal
8. The first weekend here with Catie, Malik, Erica, Will, Jess, and Gus
9. French with Sarah
10. Pancake Thursdays
11. PRing / racing
12. Working in the absolute freezing cold at the meet then getting CC brunch with Katie and Ben afterwards
13. Racing the 5K in the dark (18:56!)
14. Making fun of the pictures of people in Chris Brennan's frat
15. Mardi Gras with Stephen and Jess
16. WHEN JOEY VISITED!!!!
17. Will + Shopping Cart
18. Will's birthday
19. Watching Big Fish with Jess and Will
20. Sitting at BD for 2.5 hours with Jess, Will, Malik, and Jim
21. No One Like You
22. Panera on my birthday with everyone
23. Psych with Skyler, Tucker, Katie, Erica, and Haseeb
24. Night talks with Ben and Kenny and Rachel
25. Getting back to my room at 4 A.M. after chasing Will around
26. WHEN MANNY VISITED!!!
27. Laser tag @ Rhodes
28. Rhodes in general - especially on the bussride with Jess and Will
29. Beale Street in Memphis
30. Dancing <3
31. Catch Phrase on the track bus
32. My first ice bath where I felt sick to my stomach from the cold
33. Singing in the ice bath room
34. Watching porn (and other interesting clips) in my Intro to Sexuality Studies class
35. Meeting AWESOME people.. everyone is so incredibly friendly
36. Meeting Morgan Spurlock!
37. A cappella concerts
38. Video chatting with Scott, Shubhs, and Dileep
39. SPRING BREAK (except not getting food poisoning)
40. When Earth and the Environment was cancelled
41. Field trip for Earth and the Environment (not sure if it's a highlight, but it happened - unfortunately)
42. RAVE at Levin's
43. Not drinking
44. Doing abs for hours
45. Not getting enough sleep because track and school is a crazy combination
46. Our 3.5 hour practice
47. Going to Noodles n Co with Sarah, Nick, and Catie
48. Theeeeeeeee OFFICE
49. Alden's pasta party the second week of school
50. Runs with the girls (and Tuesdays with Erica and Stephen)

-LV

losers_4life @ 2009-02-01T09:32:00

2009-02-01T15:32:48Z

I LOVE COLLEGE!!!!!!!!

: )
LV

i love lacey

2009-01-07T08:42:50Z

Everytime I get back to this I promise myself I will keep it up for a while. Never works. Here is another go, but maybe its just one of those things I keep periodically.

Recap on 2008:
Jan: birthday party was awkward but nice, wouldnt PDA with matt in school, nervous but done with college apps
Feb: best month with matt and generally really fun; amazing Valentines day
March: skiing utah, being distant
April: got into Berkeley and other schools, broke up, depressed
May: APs, Prom, Nick, new groups of friends
June: partying, graduation, loved it, argentina
July: argentina, lacey, paulina, parties, friends
August: relaxing, preparing, stressing, ready but nervous
September: enthusiastic, was a good student for a week, started paying attention to Alex, rushed sororities<- huge freakout
October: parents visited, Alex and I first kiss and started hooking up regularly, fell in with some friends, parents weekend and home for halloween; alissa and fletcher visitations
November: alex and i are official and awkward, thanksgiving with arkasha, chem is hard and overconfident about econ, pledge AOPi, got close with roommate cat
December: alex and i come back and are really into each other and going so well, finals and grades; Chem= A-, Anthro= A, Econ=B, gpa 3.56; made some solid friends not sure if i actually like them though; need to make new
6 Days into january: miss alex alot (he is in the caribbean) but there are still some uncomfortable things I notice but they are getting better as we get closer, I am excited for next semester- need to work hard academically and try to be more involved with AOPi. Loren is here :)

miss you and this

random memory: one time lacey posted this journal entry with a personal quiz that I didnt like but she didnt sign her name so I edited and signed it for her so no one though i did it and we got in a fight. i love you and good luck tomorrow girl

-Yulia

losers_4life @ 2008-11-03T18:48:00

2008-11-03T23:50:36Z

Romeo, take me
somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting
all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince
and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
baby just say Yes.

Romeo save me
they're tryin' to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid
we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a life story
baby just say Yes.

losers_4life @ 2008-09-24T22:07:00

2008-09-25T02:08:13Z

Let Her Cry is playing on iTunes and it reminds me of Chris Michael. I miss him so much.

losers_4life @ 2008-09-21T14:52:00

2008-09-21T18:58:29Z

I had this really weird feeling that Joey was going to come home on Saturday. I got back from the xc meet in Amherst feeling kinda sick and really tired, and also dreading the massive amount of homework I have. I walked into my house, sort of just expecting to see Joey. No one was home. I had no reason to think this but for some reason, I still felt like he was near me. So, I called my mom and she told me she was on a walk in the woods for the first time ever with Jolie. The woods are right near his house and I was like, "You should go visit him. I bet he's home and not telling me."

Anyway, the thing is, the only reason I expected him to be home was because I wanted SO badly for him to be home. I was having a really tough day and he hadn't talked to me in a really long time because his phone was messed up. Every time I tried to call him, he told me he was out with his friends or doing homework. It sucked. Furthermore, Annelies and Paige were both seeing their boyfriends who go to college that night. I was soo jealous but just like really feeling sick and not well. Physically..emotionally..I just really needed Joey, so I felt like he just had to be home. He HAD to be here to help me.

At 9:10, I called him and he didn't pick up, so I left a voicemail. I had been doing homework for two hours and was really tired and exhausted. He called me back at 9:30 and had a cute idea: that we would watch the stars together, like be in different places, but still watch them. So, I took my time getting ready and I walked out to my front steps. I looked up at the stars and it was such an amazing night. Then I saw a car parked in front of my house and I said to Joey, "Woah there's a sketchy car parked outside my house." He responded, "Look to your left."

And so I looked.
And he was standing in my driveway!

I ran down the stairs and hugged him for ten minutes and just cried. It was the best most perfect moment.

So that's it.
He's right.

Whenever I need him the most, he'll always be there for me.

losers_4life @ 2008-06-18T17:42:00

2008-06-18T21:56:56Z

I cannot believe it, but it is finally happening. Tomorrow. Graduation. Class of 2008.
This will probably be one of the last times I write in here. Woah.

I'll have to update later, but for now, I'll post some of my letter that I wrote to myself freshman year. I gave myself pretty good advice...hmm....

"Dear Lacey,
er, I mean, Me. Yeah okay that's weird. What do I write about as I sit in a health room (room 450) and look out a fake, painted window (I swear they have one). To be honest is the point of this letter so here it goes.
Hi Lacey Elizabeth Vogel, the senior. This is your freshman self talking. Who are you now? It's scary to think how much different I will be, because I already feel that I've changed drastically. I really don't like change. Only some kinds. Anyway, what kind of person am I now? I have goals: No drugs, No alchohol, all that good stuff. Besides that, I just don't want my highschool time to fly by. So, has it? Have I made the best of it? Right now, I don't know what I want to be when I'm older. I'm very interested in so many things; maybe that's my problem. Singing is still wonderful. I hate politics. Maybe as you read this, you are captain of the Debate Team. I just realized that can vote. Are you a democrat or a republican?
Well, off the subject of school, temporarily. Yesterday, I had a track meet (first outdoor) and I ran a 2:47 800m. I hope my time has improved in the future and that Liz is still my friend and is running with me. Well I bet you're dying to hear the JUICY stuff! There's a kid- Joey- who I like. Joey Thomas Greenspun. Yeah, I wonder if we will go out. Prom? Who knows? But it's fun to sit w/ him @ lunch and talk. My close friends are currently Yulia, Steph, Liz, Shika (Manushika), Jess, and Linda. Yulia is the best friend I've ever had (since 7th grade). She's amazing. I am having trouble letting it sink into my head that she is moving to California. My huge goal is to stay best friends with her. As good as we are now.
I just can't wait to see who I grow close with and away from over the years. I just don't think I'll ever find someone as great as Yulia.
I want to make a movie. A short one. A random one. Something that expresses me in the way I want it to. What will do that? I need something like that. I have ideas. Promise me if you're not too busy, make it. Make it one minute. Anything. Add music.
Lacey, I hope you're not abs. bored. I also hope that you don't use all of your summer to move to whateer college you will be attending. Think about your friends. Your boyfriend (?) Your family. Your past self. Your future self, because you're about to be flung into the big world. What else is there to say? I just don't want this time to fly by.
I didn't realize I had this much to say. Well, good luck. Yeah...good luck. Here's to us.
Lacey Vogel (as a freshman)"

It's funny..I still have the same handwriting.
And I thought my letter seemed somewhat mature. Maybe I don't give freshmen enough credit.
A few comments about this letter have been running through my mind..
I asked myself "who are you now?" It's funny, because I still don't know. Not yet. Not completely and fully.
My goals have stayed in tact..I don't do drugs. I never drink. I'm happy I followed those.
Also, I made the best of highschool, definitely.
I still hate politics.
My time in the 800m has improved by 26 seconds.
Joey Thomas Greenspun. Oh boy. Prom? yes. Dating? yes. But who would have known that I'd still be with him now...and more in love than ever.
Out of the 6 friends I listed, I am still close friends with 4 of them, and I'd say that's a lot better than none!
Yulia is still my best friend. I still haven't found someone as amazing as her.
I'm going to make that movie.
Here's to us, you, as the past, me as the present, and Lacey E. Vogel as the future.

Love.

losers_4life @ 2008-05-11T11:22:00

2008-05-11T15:24:19Z

my knees hurt
too much
i used to love this,
but now i hate it.

i was so excited about this season. I was going to break 2:20 in the 800. I had goals, and hope. i had an amazing cross country season, and it was looking good.

but no one can predict injuries, just like no one can predict falling out of love with the thing you once loved the most.

losers_4life @ 2008-04-25T19:42:00

2008-04-25T23:50:32Z

I am really happy that my final year at Amity has definitely been my best. Definitely 100% I finally feel so happy with all my decisions. I've done more than I ever have this year because I finally did everything that I wanted to do. I've loved high school..so much..and senior year has been the best. I loved cross country season and being track captain. I loved getting into WashU. I loved going out with Scott and taking all I could from that experience. I loved being able to finally be in a musical and do Cabaret Coffeehouse and I am so looking forward to being in Pops. Now that I know where I'm going to college, I find myself doing things I really want to do. I have finally hit the senior slide..I was wondering if I was going to and here it is! Instead of coming home and doing pointless homework, I come home and read the books that have been piling up next to my bed since junior year or I nap or I make Lipton ice tea. I find things that I'm interested in and things that I'm not and it's so much better than wasting my life on the things that I have been forced to do in high school.

I have loved this. I love this.
I finally am beginning to feel like an adult.
Own decisions. New decisions.
Changes.

I cannot wait until college but I am so not ready to leave high school. I am so happy that I won't be going until January. Although I really want to go, I really am not ready...not quite...to say goodbye.

Plus, it really feels like lots of things are just beginning =]

the truth:

2008-04-06T21:17:40Z

There's a scene in FRIENDS where Ross has to decide between Rachel and Julie and he doesn't know how to, so he makes a list about things he sees as "negative qualities" of each. For Rachel, he makes this huge list.

But for Julie, all he can come up with is: "She's not Rachel."

feel it falling off like clothing

2008-03-29T16:27:25Z

my emotions always change but i really like being single. a lot a lot. i'm going prom dress shopping today; i'm really excited for prom. and for tonight..linda, chris, emma, joeym and I are having a sleep over. other than that, everything's good. i miss yulia. i love track. i'm excited for wash u. i slept 10 hours last night. i'm feeling very much like me lately and it makes me happy. much happier than i was last month.

love you all
laceface

wash who? u!

2008-03-16T15:15:13Z

I still can't believe that I got in. In shock. I'm going to my dream school. I am! The ONE PLACE I've been in love with since last year. Wow it was exactly one year ago...that I visited.

ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI, HERE I COME!

I got into this program called the January Program (J-Prog). Basically, I start school in January. All my friends will be going off to college in August/Sept, but I will be staying at home until second semester! Every year, WashU picks around 40 students to move into the campus because around this time, approximately 40 juniors study abroad. So when I move in, I'll be rooming with other people who are in the program AND we'll be in JUNIOR DORMS! I'm so psyched. They do this because they need to fill the places of the people who leave.

When I first found out, I was a little disappointed. Like, I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE SOON. But oh well. I've come to grips with the fact that after January, I will be a full-time WASHU student, until May of 2012! I really think that this FAR outweighs everything else, like the fact that my friends will all be having the time of their lives. I mean, I'll be going to the #9th university in the country. What more could I ask for> It's okay though because I've come up with a list of what I can do while I'm here from September until December 15.

1. take classes at a nearby college b/c I'll need credits (Yale, SCSU, Quinnipiac, etc.)
2. volunteer coach for the amity girls xc team (coach said i can)
3. work aka EARN MONEY
4. visit my friends in college
5. hang out with my underclassmen friends
6. visit Amanda at UConn..finally..
7. run races with my mom
8. volunteer
9. start a new hobby? I've always wanted to start photography!

Also, for kids who do J-Prog, they provide four 4-day weekends where we get to go up, meet the WashU kids, stay at dorms, and take classes/volunteer to earn credits.

I just can't wait until I'm at WashU. I knew that if I didn't get in, I had no idea where I would go. None whatsoever. It was that school where I visited and could never see myself anywhere else..

I'm looking forward to running track and XC there, ice skating on the nation's largest ice skating rink, meeting new people from around the world, being in the midwest, being near my family in missouri, and just getting away from the northeast.

So I won't be there until January, but I've waited THIS LONG so what's 3.5 more months? not much, really... :)

Laceyyy

omg and I just thought of one more thing. I'm going to be going to the school where PAUL VITHAYATHIL goes. He has been one of those out-of-reach crushes ever since freshman year..sighh<3

but when i seee youuuuuuu

2008-03-14T01:07:56Z

Just an old friend coming over
Now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in
Though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done
And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I wanna stay right here
And go down on you for an hour
Or stay and let the day just fade away
In a wild dedication
Take the moment of hope
And let it run
Never look back
At all the damage we have done now
To each other
To each other
To each other

But when I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
and still I see you

THIRD EYE BLIND
going with joeyyyyy
toadsss

can't wait!

losers_4life @ 2008-03-06T19:13:00

2008-03-07T00:18:05Z

i'm so thankful to be alive.
and for my friends, family.
and for memories, my bed, my room, breathing, oxygen, my lungs and heart, my legs, my knee that hurts all the time now but i STILL HAVE IT, for reading and writing, for music, songs, lyrics, poetry, books, computers, sunlight, sunset, the stars, the sky, nature, water, food, dessert, yulia, yulia, yulia, california and connecticut, learning, french, spanish, greek, the alphabet, childhood memories, remembering the days chelsea and i used to walk on the white fence right by her house when we didn't know such terrible things could happen in life, for puppies, sky diving, fish, the world, the planet, enviro-friendly products, vegetarians, love, safe warm beds, rainy days, for my dog, for my grandparents, wisdom teeth, being able to walk and sing and run, warm evenings in the summer, watermellon + fireflies.
i'm thankful for so many things.
thank you god.

rip.

losers_4life @ 2008-01-30T21:07:00

2008-01-31T02:15:45Z

new. there are many new, little things in my life, and they makes everything so much more interesting.
grease. being in grease is a new experience for me, the athlete. i've always wanted to be in a musical (it's been a dream of mine) and i cannot wait to start.
study hall. every day. HIGHLY recommended.
feelings. scott and i re-started our relationship and we are on the same page now.
mrs. kimball. finally a class in which i (1) don't die of boredom & (2) take something from every day. refreshing!
injury. i cannot run because of my knee. but i'm still racing because the other two captains are injured plus one of our best distance runners. i do hate not running, but all of a sudden, i have a chance to lift weights, focus on core strengthening, and do my OWN workouts (on the bike) at my OWN pace. i like doing that. sigh.
second semester senior. finally it has come! never felt like this before..even though i'm definitely still trying in my classes.
songs. O.A.R. + Matchbox 20 = love. even though they're old, i've just discovered how good they really are.
integrals. don't you find it funny how you learn how to undo something you've spent half a year learning to do? derivatives are wack.

laceface

losers_4life @ 2008-01-20T10:35:00

2008-01-20T15:38:04Z

in my mind
i miss you
i just wanna sit around your life
and breathe your air
and if i cannot have you
i just don't want to live.

i just don't..

losers_4life @ 2008-01-13T17:44:00

2008-01-13T22:49:54Z

I wish more people had live journal. Or blogs, in general.
It's nice to read people's perspectives on things, so that I know I'm not alone in a lot of my thinking and feelings.

losers_4life @ 2008-01-01T23:55:00

2008-01-02T04:59:23Z

Knowing myself and knowing where I want to be and what I need to do to get there as a person this year, I have come up with a few resolutions:

School/Intellect Related
*complete my homework before 10 p.m.
*read more (for pleasure, books and shit)

Being-wise
*be a better sister&daughter (do more around the house)
*eat healthy foods

Sanity-wise
*don't look too far into the future (live in the moment)

Relationship/Love/Other
*see my friends..really see them, not just hang out, but really understand and welome them and really want them in my life
*stay with scott miller.

washyou

2007-12-31T05:53:08Z

I just wanna go to Wash U. I hate being deferred. Who said senior year was fun!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

losers_4life @ 2007-12-16T17:56:00

2007-12-16T22:57:06Z

why do we have to leave in a year when we're just beginning?

Frusturated, Bored, and Stupid

2007-11-20T05:31:50Z

ughhh
I hate everything, mostly myself. I am realizing that i am like so fucked up. I mean i try to project an image thats not myself, i cant accept my own intelligence, and furthermore, i am a bad writer. i hate college apps. i hate my mother, sometime. i cant compose anything good for the life of me. i am scared too. so fucking scared.
scared i cant compete. scared i cant play the game. scared i dont know what i want. just petrified. i am bored, lazy, and undetermined ultimately. i dont know what i want and thus i dont attempt to get anything. i want to defer college for a year, or for maybe a lifetime.
im afraid to progress. this is bullshit. i cant even call my own boyfriend. i dont know why.
i have a boyfriend. that is wierd. i want to be saved. bu its like i can only be saved by peoples opinion. i need to fix that. so few people really care anyways. im not sure matt cares. infact i feel he doesnt
-Yulia

losers_4life @ 2007-11-11T11:08:00

2007-11-11T16:12:17Z

I am really sad that cross country ended. It's really, truly hitting me that I'm a senior. At the end of the boy's race at New Englands, I went and hugged Joey and then I saw his mom and she hugged me and I told her congratulations. Then we both started crying. Ever since then, I've been thinking how this is the first sport of mine of high school to be over. Only two left. Two. Then graduation. I can't believe it...we're seniors...

I love high school. I'm going to miss it so much.
Seeing Joey's mom on graduation day is going to make me sob. I know it.
Saying goodbye to Joey is going to be equally as terrible.

It was the most emotional thing for me seeing him finish his race.

Liz got into college.

How am I supposed to say goodbye to anyone?

losers_4life @ 2007-11-06T12:59:00

2007-11-06T18:00:05Z

this is really weird
like, i've never ever felt as comfortable with a boy as i do with scott miller. never.

lv